


it's not always all fun and games when hermes wishes to play

by Tatsumaki_sama



Series: The Odyssey of Bryce Wayne [13]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Animal Transformation, Birthday, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Presents, Established Relationship, F/M, Female Bruce Wayne, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25610743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tatsumaki_sama/pseuds/Tatsumaki_sama
Summary: Mxyzptlk decides to make an appearance on Clark's birthday. Bryce ends up getting involved in Mxyzptlk's pranks, much to her annoyance.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne
Series: The Odyssey of Bryce Wayne [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/672506
Comments: 5
Kudos: 175





	it's not always all fun and games when hermes wishes to play

**Author's Note:**

> I was rewatching the STAS episode with Mxyzptlk and it was hilarious and glorious. I thought it would be fun to incorporate some of that craziness and madness into this AU. I also had to include the infamous “flirterers” line from BTBATB.

Bryce supposed, like many things, it started because of Clark's birthday.

Birthday or not, there was a potential intergalactic war with two alien planets and the Justice League happened to be dragged into it when one alien race, the Eldarians, attacked the Watchtower, believing it to be the work of their enemy, the Skeeg. Only for the Skeeg to then attack Hal, J'onn and Clark when they tried to smooth things over, believing them to be spies for the Eldarians.

And now, the Eldarians and Skeeg set their eyes on Earth and both are eager to attack anyone who tried to stop them.

Clark had insisted to delay his not-so-secret birthday party until after this was resolved. The last two weeks had been stressful for everyone and many League members had been injured in the last scuffle with the Eldarians and the Skeeg, leaving everyone a little more busier. Especially for Clark, who was overworking himself to make up for the shortage of hands they had on deck.

But some like Ollie felt the world would not collapse if Clark decided to take a break for one night. Even Bryce had to grudgingly admit that a quiet evening with Clark's closest friends where they could all relax, even if it was just for a brief reprieve, would be beneficial for everyone's morale, before they threw themselves back into work.

The meeting was going well and was even proceeding faster than her estimation as Bryce was standing up, presenting what research she managed to gather about the Eldarians and the Skeeg. She would have liked to wrap up everything as soon as possible and dismiss everyone early and deal with the League's decision regarding this intergalactic matter tomorrow so they could enjoy Clark's birthday.

That all changed when Bryce's armour, cowl and suit abruptly disappeared.

Bryce was grateful that she had enough foresight to wear something over her lingerie.

Still, there were a few gasps, along with some choking sounds that resembled either muted laughter or horrified swearing. Several jaws were dropped. Bryce was somewhat exasperated with their reactions. A tank top and black unmentionables could hardly be seen as scandalous when considering some of the more provocative outfits of her teammates.

Then again, there was barely a handful of people who had seen her without her armour and cowl when it came to League business. In their eyes, she must appear practically _in flagrante delicto_.

“ Batwoman?”

At least someone was concerned. Clark was standing halfway up from his seat.

She knew it wouldn't have been Zatanna or Jason Blood or any of the League magic users. They weren't so childish to make her lose over one million dollars worth of a bat suit and make her appear half-clothed in front of other League members in the middle of an important meeting, even if they were annoyed with her.

This was more of a prank.

“Mxyzptlk.”

And no sooner the words left Bryce's mouth, the imp himself appeared.

“ Greetings, greetings!” Mxyzptlk chirped as he floated a few inches above Clark, cheerfully ignoring how Ollie aimed an arrow at him and how Arthur had his trident out. “ Heya Supes. I see you've been working out. Gotta stay in tip top shape to impress the girlfriend, am I right?”

“ What do you want, Mxyzptlk?” Clark asked with a resigned tone.

“ What? Can't I stop by to try to wish a friend happy birthday?” Mxyzptlk drawled. “ Thought you'd like what your gal is wearing underneath all that armour of hers. Those legs go on for miles, don't they?”

No sooner than Mxyzptlk said it, several eyes trailed towards Bryce to confirm his words.

Including Clark's.

Bryce resisted the urge to close her eyes and hope this was just some bad dream. “ I highly doubt you came here for birthday wishes,” she dryly said, crossing her arms. “ Why are you here?”

“ But if that isn't to your taste, Supes,” Mxyzptlk continued with an impish gleam in his eyes, blatantly ignoring her. “ I can change that.”

He snapped his fingers before she, Clark or anyone else could protest.

Bryce sincerely hoped he would not remove her remaining clothing or put her in some frilly pink swimsuit. She had already activated the security codes to block and erase all camera footage of this event and was making plans to blackmail everyone in the room into silence.

Fortunately, she did not lose the rest of her clothes or appear in a swimsuit.

Unfortunately, Mxyzptlk had her wear a Marilyn Monroe-esque dress while standing knee-deep in the middle of a ridiculously large birthday cake with flaming candles and all.

Her hair that had been neatly done up fell in thick curls down her shoulders reminiscent of the fifties hairstyles. There was a heavy layer of makeup over her eyes, cheeks and lips. The voluptuous dress she was forced to wear was low cut, clinched snugly around her hips and evidently backless.

A few people were spluttering.

Bryce for her part glared at everyone, daring them to say something.

Most of all, she was glaring at Mxyzptlk who was grinning far too wide.

“ I think Supes would appreciate his fantasies are coming to life,” Mxyzptlk gleefully said.

She knew for a fact that was not true. But regardless, she would have to have a word with Clark later to improve his abilities to hide his emotions better. Mxyzptlk had a habit of being far too delighted when he was able to get under Clark's skin. With Clark looking mortified, it would only prompt Mxyzptlk to continue his fun.

Diana's lasso was already wrapped around Mxyzptlk. “ Change Bryce back,” she sternly said. She at least sounded irritated on Clark and Bryce's behalf.

Bryce would also have to have a word to Diana about how as part of the Greek pantheon, she should really know better about using certain phrasing when it came to mischievous reality warpers if she didn't just transform into a tiny bat.

At least the cake vanished.

It came to everyone's surprise – except her – that despite having a bat motif, Bryce was not an expert in suddenly adapting to being shrunken down to four times her size and adjusting to having wings instead of arms and having tiny legs to support her as she plummeted downwards due to gravity alarmingly quick.

Thankfully Clark was fast enough to catch her before she hit the floor.

Mxyzptlk was clearly the only one who was finding amusement in this as he cackled and cackled despite Diana's lasso tightening over his neck. “ You meant change her back or change her _to a bat_?” he simpered. “ My hearing isn't as good as it was three million years ago.”

Clark's much larger hand practically enveloped Bryce as he cradled Bryce protectively close to him. “ She could have been hurt,” he said. A hint of crimson glinted in his eyes.

“ Lighten up, buddy old pal. I wouldn't have hurt your girl. I think she's cuter now that she's a bat.”

Bryce wanted to snarl at him but what came out instead was an indignant squeak.

Everyone was staring at her yet again. Someone – suspiciously like Barry – actually muttered it was the most adorable sound he had ever heard in his life.

Clark was looking at her with an odd expression as Bryce squirmed around to find her balance with her cumbersome newfound wings and managed to find a holding on one of Clark's fingers. She stood her full height of approximately five inches, as she glared at him to make him take this seriously.

But sadly, Clark was too busy fighting back the temptation to stroke her head.

And failing miserably.

Though, if he did try to poke her cheeks however, Bryce couldn't be blamed for biting his finger in retaliation. Even if her teeth would most likely break at the very action.

“ Then again, it would be difficult to maintain a relationship like that,” Mxyzptlk mused. “ Kryptonians and Earth bats don't really mix, huh?”

With a small pop, Bryce was back to being human, though the abrupt transformation made her limbs flail gracelessly and it was a good thing Clark had inhuman reflexes to catch her in a manner mimicking a carry that one would normally do in a wedding ceremony.

Mxyzptlk had obviously thought it would invoke romantic undertones. Some of the League thought so too because someone – probably Hal – had the nerve to wolf-whistle.

It helped with the imagery that Bryce's clothing was once again changed without her consent and she was now wearing a wedding dress.

With lots and lots of lace and showing off plenty of skin.

Heat was creeping up Clark's neck. Bryce was beginning to lose her patience.

“ Why are you here?” she gritted out. She inelegantly shuffled out of Clark's arms, shoving the heavier parts of her skirts away. If doing that made people stare at her legs again, so be it. It was a small price to pay so she could actually move in this dress.

“ We are not in the mood for games – ”

“ Maybe it's the company? Hard to get in the mood when there are so many people here,” Mxyzptlk pondered out loud. There was a wickedly playful smirk on his face. “ Maybe you two liked to spend some quality time together?”

“ Wait, don't – ” Clark started to say.

But it didn't matter because with a blink of an eye, Bryce and Clark found themselves sprawled across a four poster bed with a gorgeous silk canopy over it and rose petals scattered over the bed sheets. It was a magnificent room, similar to the many hotel resorts Bryce had come across in her travels. There were several lit candles and colourful bouquets scattered around in the room. She could hear the sound of ocean waves and birds cawing in the distance.

Both her and Clark also happened to have a change of clothes, courtesy of Mxyzptlk of course. Clark looked aghast at the horribly bright and garnished boxers he involuntarily had on. Bryce was somewhat content to know they were at least wearing _something_ , even if she loathed the frilly pink bikini.

“ I'm sorry about this,” Clark finally said.

“ Not your fault,” Bryce mildly said as she picked out the flowers that were stubbornly woven into her hair. “ I know you wouldn't have worn those boxers if you had a choice.”

Clark snorted. He looked down at the offending piece of clothing with distaste. “ It is a bit tacky, isn't it?”

“ Mm. It brings out your eyes.”

“ Same with you and your swimsuit.”

“ Just like the birthday and wedding dresses?” she wryly asked.

Clark had the decency to blush.

“ Well at least I'll know what to wear for the future,” Bryce sighed. Clark gave her a stunned look. She thought to herself it would give him something to ponder the meaning of that for some time.

She got out of the bed, glancing out the window. She only hoped they were still on Earth.

“ Has he bothered you recently?” Bryce asked, back on topic.

“ No, he hasn't. He was quiet the last few months.” Clark's arms were crossed over his chest. He appeared somewhat bashful in his barely clothed state. Not that it mattered to Bryce. If Clark was able to ogle at her legs, it was only fair that she got to appreciate his broad shoulders and arms for once. At least she was far more subtle about it.

“ Usually he is content to play games with you only and ignore the rest of us.”

“ That's what I can't figure out. Why involve you in this?” Clark rubbed the back of his neck. “ What would he gain from it?

Bryce pursed her lips. “ I'm sure Mxyzptlk would find some other ways to torment you regardless.”

And just like that, Mxyzptlk appeared. “ I thought I heard my name,” he trilled. He eyed them with disappointment. “ Surprised you two haven't done anything yet. I did heard the honeymoon for mortals is for the – ”

He never got to finish his sentence as Bryce grabbed him by the throat.

“ Enough games,” she growled.

“ Oohh, your girl's got fire. Definitely see why you like her.” Mxyzptlk's head casually removed itself from his neck. His head floated aimlessly above them like a deflating balloon. “ I thought the suite would have been to your taste, Supes. Not happy with it?”

Clark glared at him. “ I didn't want any of this.”

“ Then what do you want? I can help you with that. Money? A big fancy house? Several people to cater to you and your girl?”

As he spoke, those things began to materialize before their very eyes outside the window.

“ I want to know why you are doing this,” Clark impatiently said.

“ Like I said, just wanted to give the best birthday present to my best friend on this side of the universe,” Mxyzptlk breezily said, easily reattaching his head to his body. Even if both Clark and Bryce could see how his fingers were crossed behind his back.

“ You are involved with the conflict between the Eldarians and the Skeeg,” Bryce simply deduced.

Mxypztlk began spluttering.

The timing of Clark's birthday, Mxypztlk's appearance and the impeding war of the Eldarians and the Skeeg was far too much of a coincidence for her to ignore.

She had been suspicious why two alien races who previously were at peace be suddenly provoked to arms and to war with each other and eager to pick a fight with Earth. Someone else must have been involved and pulling some strings between all of them.

“ That's why you have been making 'favors' for Clark.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “ You want him and by extension the League to fix the mess you've made. Or else your powers will be revoked since you meddled far too deeply with mortal affairs.”

“ Now hang on a minute here, sweetheart. I don't know what you are – ”

Only for a cartoonishly large handcuffs to suddenly slap themselves over Mxypztlk's wrists.

“ You were saying,” Clark began to grin.

“ Okay! Okay! I 'fess up! I might have swapped the leaders' kids to different planets for fun,” Mxypztlk wheedled. “ It was just one time. Some people just can't take a joke. Sheesh.”

Clark and Bryce looked at him, unconvinced as another set of cuffs manifested over his ankles.

“ I also might have told them that Earth did it.”

“ You did _what_?”

Clark crossed his arms, looking like a disapproving principal. Though the effect was lost due to Clark's gaudy boxers. “ Tell me why we should help you after what you've done,” he said.

“ Because of all the wonderful birthday gifts?” Mxypztlk innocently said.

He got two equally chastising glares.

“ All right! Just help a guy out here! All you need to do is to testify on my behalf about my good behaviour,” he begged. “ I swear, I'll owe you guys one.”

Neither of them were moved to tears.

Bryce arched an eyebrow at Clark. “ He did transform me into a bat,” she pointed out.

“ He also embarrassed us in front of our colleagues,” Clark nodded in agreement.

“ Because of him, I will have to revise my presentation and do it all over again.”

“ It would also make us late for the party Ollie and Barry planned out for tonight.” Clark gave her an amused side glance. “ I just thought you were organizing it this time.”

“ Too obvious. My role this year was to distract you.”

“ Congratulations, Miss Wayne. You succeeded.”

There was a fond smile tugging at Clark's mouth.

It was good to see Clark appeared more relaxed and in better spirits than he had in weeks. Bryce didn't mind enduring some humiliation if it meant seeing Clark smile.

Not that she would ever admit to that out loud.

“ Here I am suffering and you two lovebirds are too busy making lovey dovey with your eyes,” Mxyzptlk indignantly said.

If there was ever a better mood killer, Bryce supposed this was one of them.

“ Well?” Mxyzptlk demanded. “ You gonna help me or what?”

“ You will return the children back to their proper planets,” she instructed instead. “ Once that happens, you will go to the Eldarians and the Skeeg and explain what you have done.”

“ Now, wait here. I ain't – ”

“ You will assist both of them and aid in reconstruction of all damages accumulated in the crossfire. As well as rebuilding sections of the Watchtower that had been destroyed earlier. Since there were several League members injured due to your actions, you will ensure that their respective cities and homes will be watched over and kept safe until a full recovery is made. Without any pranks or mischief from your end.”

“ J-just a minute – ”

“ You _will_ leave the negotiations to the Justice League and no longer provoke any intergalactic affairs that would result in war.”

“ But how will I keep myself entertained?!”

“ Not my problem,” Bryce bluntly told him.

A chain and ball had now attached itself to Mxyzptlk's leg. The imp sighed. “ Fine. I'll do it.” He eyed them resentfully. “ Is that all?” he snivelled.

“ You will provide for one week of vacation to Bora Bora starting tomorrow and ensure there is no emergency or crisis while we are there,” Clark suddenly added. He was smiling mischievously. “ All travel expenses and hotel fees paid.”

At Bryce's inquisitive look, he shrugged. “ I heard Bora Bora is nice this time of the year,” he sheepishly said.

“ Hnn.” Bryce glanced downwards. “ As long as you don't bring that.”

Clark grinned. “ Done.”

Mxyzptlk looked like he wanted to gag. “ Flirterers,” he scoffed, like it was an insult.

“ Return us back to the Watchtower _in our proper attire_ and go explain yourself. Then we will vouch for you.”

“ Fine, fine,” he muttered.

And just like that, Bryce and Clark found themselves back at the Watchtower's main meeting room. There were some surprised yelps and everyone was still at the table, though looking a little more frazzled than the last time they had seen them. Bryce could hardly blame them. For all they knew, Mxyzptlk sent her and Clark somewhere across the galaxy.

Thankfully, true to his word, Mxyzptlk returned Bryce's bat suit and Clark's Superman attire. Neither of them would have survived the ensuing teasing and gawking if they appeared in those other outfits.

“ How long?” Bryce promptly asked.

“ Um, no more than a minute?” Barry said, once he got over his shock. “ What did – ?”

“ We no longer have to concern ourselves with the impeding war of the Eldarians and the Skeeg,” Bryce curtly said, proceeding to shut off her laptop and close the presentation screen. “ I presume by now both leaders' children have been safely returned.”

“ Children? Returned? Wait, what does that mean?”

“ We just have to prepare for negotiations,” Clark explained, also not very forthright either. The cheerful smile on his face could lit up the entire Watchtower for days if left unchecked. “ But we won't have to worry about that for at least one week.”

“ Why one week?”

Arthur along with a few others noticed the two plane tickets in Clark's hand.

“ I decided what I wanted for my birthday,” he grinned.

“ And there is still a lot to do before we leave,” Bryce briskly said over her shoulder as she packed up the rest of her things and walked out of the meeting room.

“ See everyone tonight,” Clark beamed before trailing after Bryce, much to the confusion of everyone remaining in the room.


End file.
